The Dog with Issues

Lately, I've been a part of numerous discussions on the topic of relationships, both romantic and on a friendship basis.  What's crazy about relationships is that everything is connected. What I mean is that all our previous experiences directly affect our ability to relate to people in our current circumstances.

The Dog
A real basic example: My apartment is in the bottom level of a house.  I'm good friends with my upstairs neighbors and occasionally we get together.  A few months ago they brought a dog home from the pound.  He's a small dog and a mix of some sort, but he's very smart.  They named him Bugsy.  I've always loved animals and  was looking forward to good times with him, but this dog had issues. He's not the most friendly dog, but he generally gets along just fine with others, although he always seems to distrust men - giving them extra space. But what's annoying is that he totally hates me!  I've never done a thing to him and he totally freaks out when I enter the room.  At first, his owners would pick Bugsy up and let me hold him.  Bugsy would sit in my lap stiff as a board and soon start shaking from apparent fear and then jump off my lap as soon as I gave him the freedom.  I figured that love respects others wounds (even dogs) so I'd give the animal some emotional space by not approaching the dog in any way.  I then decided to give Bugsy a special treat whenever I have the time, but I always do it in a way that doesn't crowd his space.  He's now come to the place of trust where he actually has followed me into my apartment recently while I was getting his treat for him, which is completely amazing.  He's slowly learning to trust me, although he wouldn't even think of letting me pet him. Its quite obvious that Bugsy has had some bad experiences with someone who looks a lot like me and has simply transfered his issues on to me.

My Point
As humans we have an even greater capacity and internal memory of previous experiences then animals.  And these experiences have shaped how we currently relate to people.  This is a universal issue for human relationships.  If you have any amount of self awareness then you recognize at least a little of your inability to respond well under certain normal circumstances.  Most people call this a phobia. It's slightly humorous, and I have to laugh at my own phobias.  If you aren't convinced you have a phobia then check out this link - scroll down for an alphabetically organized list of phobias for just about everything you can think of.

Let Me Repeat Myself
As I mentioned above - all our previous experiences directly affect our ability to relate to people in our current circumstances.  I believe phobias are simply external objects/people/circumstances that trigger our internal fear (whether or not the object is actually dangerous).  And because this fear is rooted in past experiences, we will not overcome these fears unless we either experience unconditional love, face the circumstances and walk through it safely, or both. If you question the healing power of love, then read 'Only Love Can Make a Miracle ~ Mahesh Chavda. Often, forgiveness plays a large role in this too, and forgiveness in the heart is much deeper then only a mental choice

A couple of scriptures that come to mind are -  'Love never fails (God's love for us and our love for others)', 'Be not over come with evil, but overcome evil with good', and, 'perfect love drives out fear' (Rom 12:21, 1 Cor 13:8, 1 John 4:18).